Toothpaste Questions

You know how toothpaste tubes have a toll-free phone number on the back that invites “Questions?” Well here are my questions:

  1. What kind of hosers have questions about toothpaste?
  2. Do I use the whole tube of toothpaste each time I brush or what?
  3. Why don’t you come out with orange juice-flavored toothpaste already?
  4. Why do you sell small tubes of toothpaste? Is there a big market for people who plan to stop using toothpaste soon? (E.g., hospice patients, people getting dentures, etc.)

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